Aging
I’ve been thinking a lot about aging lately. It’s no wonder, I turn 63 in a few months. As I look in the mirror each morning and night, I think oh boy, yup aging. Truth is a year ago I had Blepharoplasty, (eye lift) because my eyelids drooped over my eyes almost to the pupil and I always looked tired. My mother and grandmother had the same issue, but chose not to do anything about it. As for my decision, I’m happy with the results. Then I started to think, what about that loose skin around the jowls? Perhaps a face lift too? But then the tumor challenges arose that I wrote about in an email in February and I dropped the idea. I’m glad I did. It felt like a message from the universe to pause and think.
Recently I saw an interview with Justine Bateman on the Today Show and a review of her book: FACE “One Square Foot of Skin” and it hit a nerve. Ms. Bateman asks anyone contemplating plastic surgery to reflect on the REAL REASON it is desired. She expresses there’s always something deeper behind the decision. Fear? Control? Career pressure?
Bateman’s book tells mini stories of women who felt forced into changing their appearance, perhaps for a job, to be more attractive to a man, to boost their confidence and because society’s influences led them in that direction; the notion that women are no longer valuable when they’ve aged. The stories opened my mind and broke but my heart. s Cosmetic surgery and beauty product fixers are a multi-billion dollar industry playing on the insecurity of women, constantly suggesting that our faces need to be fixed. Of course skin care is important. I’m talking about the major stuff.
Another interesting point in the book is how women judge other women. How many times have you said or heard someone say “boy has she aged”….perhaps at a class reunion or seeing someone you haven’t seen in a long time. How many times have you judged another woman’s appearance? Sadly I admit I have. In the end, no one’s worth should be based on the condition of her face. Aging is a gift, not a prison sentence. Oh and not to exclude men, why is it a man’s older face signifies power and wisdom? A double standard.
As an aging woman, I’m choosing to step into my own worth and not to be distracted by the bombardment of messages relentlessly pressuring me to improve my appearance. I hope I hang in there. When people look at me I want them to see wisdom, wellness, determination, loss, grief, strength, satisfaction, confidence, contentment and happiness. In this present moment, I’m choosing to age gracefully...and with added grit. I’m going to need it.
It’s all a dance. Diane