Self-Observation

Spring is a time of rebirth that you can sense all around you. The birds are chirping, the sun is feeling warmer, and the trees are budding. Spring is also asking me to experience a rebirth, to go deeper into self, to discover what is most meaningful and purposeful at this time in my life.  Here’s what I’m thinking:

There’s a strong pull to let go of busy-ness and be more still than ever before. To enjoy a morning filled with reading, or even a nap for no reason other than I can. In doing so, I struggle to not label myself as lazy or unproductive.  The truth is, striving for the “next thing” is not serving me in this moment.   I long to be with those I love most, to serve others in a way that is enjoyable and impactful and to have more free time for nothing. 

I find myself longing for those close to me to feel their heart sing and be happy; to discover what is most important in life too, and to not wait for tomorrow.  I wish I could take all the years of wisdom, the lessons of pain and heartache, and the incredible moments of sheer bliss to steer those I care about in that direction.  But who am I to think my way is the right way??  

I contemplate the pain and suffering in the world and how I can leave some small, positive imprint. For now my actions are simple, to love deeply and have faith that the answers to positive impact will come.

I wonder about the tangled pros and cons of social media.  While it offers an opportunity to share joys and sorrows, or offer value of a business, I miss the connection of hearing someone’s voice on the phone or seeing them in person.  Extremely bothersome is the need I’m witnessing of young women to expose their body in a calendar-like pose, nearly naked. The perils are potentially dangerous and destructive.  Is this the new addiction?  An addiction to attention seeking?

I am not immune to social trolling or finding humor in short reels, but I am pausing and becoming completely aware of this unnecessary action. I ask myself instead, “what else could I be doing to feed my heart and mind, to leave that imprint I long for?”

Self-observation. That’s what I’ve been thinking about most lately. How to unpack all this contemplation, to allow for percolation without stress or judgment, and package it for the greater good.